"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."
"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."
"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."