"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."
"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."
"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."
"The race is long, and I am sprinting. If I ever see her again, I’ll probably be too out of breath to tell her I love her."
"She called it a slap, but I called it a high-five to my face. Love is so encouraging!"