"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."
"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."
"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."
"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."