"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf."
"I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before."
"She called it a slap, but I called it a high-five to my face. Love is so encouraging!"