More quotes by Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."
"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
"It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
"Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold."