More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."
"My heartbeat is a pulse, and it pumps out sonic vibrations that resonate with her mind as she lays her head on my chest. Listen silently and you can hear the frequency of love."
"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."
"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."