"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."
"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"
"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."
"You catch more flies with honey than you do with chopsticks. Let this be a lesson in love."