"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."
"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."
"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."