"I gave her a broken watch, to symbolize that my love for her is forever and timeless. And as an excuse to why I’m always late."
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."