More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."
"I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
"I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it off a cliff."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."