The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smo... - Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"

"Grandpa always used to make me ride in the bed of his pickup truck, so he could keep up his conversations with the 100-pound sack of manure he kept buckled up in the passenger seat. Grandpa said all they ever talked about was grass, but I know Grandpa used to do a little flirting, too."

"I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them."

"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."

"The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well."