More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."
"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"What’s the point of being the first to arrive? Nobody is there to witness your commitment."
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same."