"The road to hell isn't paved with gold, it's paved with faith. Faith in a dollar that's backed by a belief that people have faith in other people's belief in it."
"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."
"I’d fight for your love like I’m Tyler Durden. I want you to hit on me as hard as you can."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment."
"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."