#dollar

"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."

"The road to hell isn't paved with gold, it's paved with faith. Faith in a dollar that's backed by a belief that people have faith in other people's belief in it."

"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."

"Our love, that’s real. Our currency, the dollar, that’s imaginary. Invest in us, and I promise you that you won’t lose your life’s savings."

"I gave her a hundred dollar bill. She said, “Thanks, how can I repay you?” I replied, “Two fifties would be good, but three fifties would be better."

"I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter?"

"You should save your hard-earned dollars, because one day when you have no electricity you'll need a big stash to burn to keep yourself warm."

"Only a fool tells people that only fools buy gold. In the coming future, I’d rather have fool’s gold than dollar bills. Ask Zimbabwe."

"Despite his last name, I’ll bet Johnny Cash never had an inflated ego, or needed a wheelbarrow full of last name to go shopping."