More quotes by George Carlin

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."