More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."