Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flun... - Erma Bombeck

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?"it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."