There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a F... - P.G. Wodehouse

"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."

"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose."

"I just sit at my typewriter and curse a bit."

"In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness."

"[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start."(Interview, The Paris Review, Issue 64, Winter 1975)"