This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke u... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"Yesterday I memorized Shakespeare, and tomorrow I'm also going to memorize his first name."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."