Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief den... - Mark Twain

"No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out."

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."