To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."

"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."

"When you find yourself in hot water, what else can you do but make a spot of tea? I still have a spot of tea on my shirt from yesterday."

"I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option."

"A stick won’t stick to a wall, so why is it called a stick? Likewise, why aren’t love and ghost the same word? Both are dead and invisible."