"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."
"I run like I walk—only slower. And I make love like a one-man circus show."
"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."