"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."