"We made love like two folding lawn chairs. We were both motionless, but the possibility of movement permeated the moment."
"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."
"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."
"Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."