More quotes by Groucho Marx

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Humor is reason gone mad."
"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."
"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."