Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today."

"Before I speak, I have something important to say."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."