"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
"Room service? Send up a larger room."[A Night at the Opera]"
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own."