More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m half chameleon, half camouflage, and wholly in love with you, though you’d never be able to see it."
"Hoping to win the lottery to escape your existence is like waiting on a unicorn to give you a ride out of town. If you’re interested, I’m selling saddles."
"Patience is so valuable I'm willing to wait forever to achieve it. And while I wait, I may as well get busy being short-tempered."
"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."
"Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup."