"What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two."
"Most people go to networking events to gain visibility. But in a crowded room, I’m trying to figure out how to become invisible. I network like the ghost of a chameleon."
"The memory of her love shimmers the way white light ripples gently on the midnight river, and I am currently thirsting to swim in the current that will flow downstream into her wading and waiting arms."
"Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I fear for my own life."
"I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."