When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found... - Rodney Dangerfield

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."

"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."