Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocke... - Rodney Dangerfield

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."

"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."