More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."
"You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers."
"She cuts me deep with her words, with her withholding of words, and with her knife. I’m not sure which is the most painful."
"I’d fight for your love like I’m Tyler Durden. I want you to hit on me as hard as you can."
"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."