When I’m in a relationship, I love like a burrito. And if yo... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"When I’m in a relationship, I love like a burrito. And if you’re a taco, don’t talk to me. At our core we may seem similar, but trust me, we are two different items on the menu."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"
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"I want to learn the language of the sun, and burn Agatha’s eyes out with my love poems."
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"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
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"Leave the cage open. If you love someone, give them a chance to leave. You can always lock them up again should they return to you."
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"Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I’m on my knees)"
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