#Wit

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"There are two ways to dislike poetry: One is to dislike it; the other is to read Pope."

"One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone."

"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"

"Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program."

"Impropriety is the soul of wit."

"If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian."

"I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."

"Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit."

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit."

"I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way."

"There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And yours,"he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them."

"Soar with wit. Conquer with dignity. Handle with care."

"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,"Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me."

"Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?”“Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb."

"Patience, grasshopper,"said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait.""I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'"said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life."

"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."

"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."