"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."
"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"
"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."