I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol wa... - George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."