What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arrivin... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."

"I’m always the last in love by exactly one person."

"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."

"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."