"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."
"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."
"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"My nickname isn’t Scarface—it’s Scarf Ace. I make knitted neck warmers like I make love—one grandmother at a time."
"She has a sly smile, and eyes that seem to see my essence as they explore my soul and implore my spirit to enter her. I look at her and I see love."