More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Why sell farming equipment to farmers? I should cut out the middleman and sell tractors directly to people dining in restaurants."
"If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy."
"I love deeply. I love long. I love wide and high. That's right, my love is interdimensional, and my vortex will heal your body and soul."
"I pet horses and ride cats, because I’m a cowman. I’m too mature to be a cowboy."
"Your fantasies define you, so dream carefully. A man with no imagination is a man with no future in today’s world—and no past in tomorrow’s."