#comedy

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."

"Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel."

"Where have all the Fembots gone?"

"...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church."

"A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!"

"One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy."

"Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us."

"Each of us is full of shit in our own special way. We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe."

"I love going to the movie theatre, seeing live comedy, and going to amusement parks."

"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."

"Anyone who is considered funny will tell you, sometimes without even your asking, that deep inside they are very serious, neurotic, introspective people."

"Humor is very interesting to me. My films are not comedies, but there's comedy in them from time to time, absurdities, just like in real life."

"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."

"Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops."

"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."

"Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?"

"You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude."

"I came into the 'Comedy Bang! Bang!' TV show with a level of confidence that I don't think I would've had if I hadn't been doing the podcast for three years already. I certainly had to figure out in those three years the sense of humor I wanted to do and the way to talk to celebrities without being incredibly intimidated by them."

"Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!"

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."