"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."
"Procrastinate now, don't put it off."
"I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things."
"For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why."
"Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log."
"I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do."