#funny-but-true

"While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?"

"Drunken men give some of the best pep talks."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway."

"Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world"

"To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it."

"The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you."

"With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing."

"..."vers libre,"(free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture."

"Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell."

"Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair."