#funny-but-true

"Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway."

"Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world"

"Drunken men give some of the best pep talks."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

"..."vers libre,"(free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture."

"To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it."

"The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you."

"While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all."

"If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?"

"With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing."

"Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair."