#masters

"The Wonderful Wonder Between the 'Onenesses' [10w] + [10w] + [10w] + [10w] If you can imagine time running backwards, death becomes birth;The moment before conception, becomes our oneness with the universe.Therefore, we shouldn't fear death because oneness returns to oneness;The wonder that happens between these onenesses is God's gift."

"If You Can't Think, You've No Right to Speak [10w] Our Constitution's guarantee of free speech specifically excludes fucking idiots."

"Heartbreak [10w] Heartbreak’s like a heart attack but without the hospital bills."

"Love on Fire [10w] A man in love cannot see fire or smell smoke."

"Boasting vs. Toasting [10w] + {Couplet} What many call boasting to my success I call toasting."

"Cruel Love [10w] Cruel love helps turn out excellent,competitive, cutthroat, dog-eat-dog children."

"Fabulous Creatures and Trust Issues [10w] Never trust a sheep in wolf’s clothing despite the unicorn."

"The 2-Step Self-Discovery Program The first step in self-discovery is not giving a shit what anybody else thinks.The second step is knowing you're a self-centered asshole."

"Las Vegas Magic! I was the greatest magician in the world.Things were going great. My agent booked me to play the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas for $100,000 per performance!When I got onstage everything suddenly disappeared.I'm not sure if it was allan illusion or a delusion,but I cashed the check anyway just to be safe."

"Twittersweeet [10w] Finding Twitter followers' like fishing in a lake of fisherman."

"Small Degrees Lobster don't fathom they're being cooked,like relationships being snuffed out in small degreesbut in reverse, as love begins to freeze over, trapping you in a impenetrable ceiling of ice until you drown."

"Dammit Goddammit' Defined [10w] Damned if you do and damned if you don't double-bind."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"North Dakota Haiku "My bib overallslook spiffy at a weddingor a funeral."

"The Downside of Stuff {Couplet) I got what I want;I have what I need.But they want what I have,and they'll make me bleed."

"Children Learn to Love and Hate A child understands love by three months and hate by three years.How the child processes that understandingwill shape his character for the next seventy."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Love Poetry [10w] Love poetry is simply bleeding on the page with ink."

"Before It's Too Late [10w] Life's too transient to waste time hating ~plot revenge now!"

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."