#personal-growth

"Missouri State Motto Salus populi suprema lex esto [16]If our chiggers don't getcha', Rush Limbaugh will."

"Poets Job Description [10w] Poets console the soul with words and eyes with images."

"Poetry and Ostrich Feathers A poet should leave his poem covered with a faint film of fairy dust,inviting the reader to bring his faint heartand an ostrich feather duster to the reading."

"BMW: The ultimate driving machine... ...just like our gas chambers were the ultimate killing machines."

"Deadly Sex Haiku Each thrust of his cockwas another coffin nailhammered in my heart."

"Clairol 2: Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure... ...but he's gay and already Tweeted it to 300 people."

"Revenge [10w] Revenge is a long game;all you need is time."

"Unwitting Measure [10w] + {Couplet} "You I love and treasurein an equal, unwitting measure."

"The Jewish NOW There's no time like the present ~but in the future,who can say?"

"Ageing [10w] There's no such thing as age -- only degrees of opacity."

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"Infinite Promise The carrot of infinite promise always dangles just inches beyond our noses.The trick is to surreptitiously switch that carrot for a zucchini."

"The Human Race Pleasure is the sprint.Contentment is the 5 mile.Happiness is the marathon."

"Embalming [10w] Injecting baking soda whitens, freshens, and softens the dearly departed."

"Kraft Macaroni & Cheese: It's the cheesiest... ...advertising slogan ever!"

"What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert."

"Heartbreak [10w] Heartbreak’s like a heart attack but without the hospital bills."

"Renewal Cream [10w] The features of the human face are enriched by poetry."

"Sometimes it's Love and Sometimes the... [10w] ...tingling sensation of excitement, happiness, and nervousnessis jock itch."

"Off the Hook True story...A cop pulls me over for speeding.He says, "What's the hurry?"I say, "I'm running awayfrom a bad marriage."He laughs and says, "Drive carefully."The officer lets me go.Beyond the practical lesson thatmaking a policeman laugh may get you off the hook,there's a certain poetry here in the unexpected connection ~for what is a poemif not a moment of surpriseworth retelling."