#personal-growth

"Origami Master If you're the greatest origami master in the worldmaybe I can find you a job folding napkins at a restaurant.I'm not making any promises."

"Love [10w] Love is a time machineset to your perfect present"

"National Rifle Association Credo [10w] God gave us two hands to holdan assault rifle."

"Amazon.com Amazon.com is the Church of Consumer Capitalismwhose ethics demands we know the price of everything,the value of absolutely nothing of true moral valueand most importantly ~Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought."

"What is the Meaning of Life? [10w] {6} To be transformed into all we are capable of becoming."

"Nomad {Couplet} When your roots grow from the outside in,home becomes whatever place you're in."

"Grateful [10w] + [10w] If you can't think of anything you should be grateful for,think that you can think and be grateful for that."

"Long Term Relationships [10w] Long term relationships should begin and end with a laugh."

"Put it All on Black' [10w] God doesn't play dice with the universe;He prefers roulette."

"Witticisms The greatest reward for coming up with some witty turn of phraseis that some day, if you're lucky,it may wind up in a fortune cookieat the very Chinese restaurant you're eating in!But if you get a big head about it,know it wasn't the flattery,it was the MSG."

"Lady Gaga Haiku A cow has a big head, deep voice, a long tongue, butLady Gaga he's not."

"Talented [10w] Being called talented brings with it more hatred than applause."

"Mint Julep {Couplet} I've had more than a hint of a tulip or two,after treating them to a mint julep, or two."

"Patriotism [10w] Patriotism for the rich is a subtle synonym for profiteering."

"When you trust your inner guidance and begin moving in the direction of your dreams (aligned with your individual gifts) you will be cloaked in an armor bestowed upon you by your guardian angel."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."

"Entrepreneurs [10w] A man should be judged by the companyhe sells."

"I'm Not Talking About Fruitcake [10w] The greatest gifts are the ones that can be regifted."

"Irish-Gaelic Wife-Fooking Proverb The truth can't be concealedI fooked your Caitlin from behind,because you can never plow a field by just turning it over in your mind.By the way, Caitlin's last words, before sucking me cock, were"Me husband's balls smells like ballyblue cheese, ahhhhhh, Éirinn go Brách!"