#personal-growth

"Plant vs. Harvest [10w] Any fool can harvest but it takes true skill to plant."

"Knowledge vs. Wisdom [10w] + [10w] Knowledge is the understanding that you are what you eat. Wisdom is not eating a pussy with hair on it."

"A Loaf of Challah Haiku A loaf of challah,a bottle of Rashi wine...For everything else there's Simply Manischewitz."

"BFF, My Ass ~ It's a Jungle Out There! About one-third of all marriages are procured by sabotaging your best friend's happiness."

"Pedestals [10w] People should not be placed on pedestals unless they're stuffed."

"Babel [10w] Building a tower to reach God doesn't require any bricks."

"Gradually Then Instantly [10w] We fall in love the way we lose our minds."

"Rhode Island State Motto Hope.Not much here but at least we have Family Guy."

"Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku Fundamentalists protest Miss Universe contest.Go home, beat their wives."

"The Machismo Motto [10w] "When we are not hard as nails we get screwed."

"Cormorant’s Flight [10w] The cormorant’s flight is the first shadow of the wave."

"How to Exercise Caution [10w] Walk in the counsel of the wickedon your treadmill."

"Unruffled [10w] Nothing’s calmer than an unruffled duck eating a cool cucumber."

"Great Poets [10w] Great poets can milk blood and tears from a stone."

"Reckless vs. Diet [10w] I live too recklessly to worry about low carb diets."

"Fat Bungee Jumpers When I watch a fat woman bungee jumpI swear I can feel the earth leaving its orbit."

"Consciousness-Driven Evolution circa 60,000 B.C. Random genetic mutation allowed homo sapiens to compete more successfully for food and mating rights. Just listen to girl chatter posted on the cave walls:"Boy, Uggh is hot. He's sentient!""Yeah. He doesn't need a club to get my attention."

"♀ Travelers vs. ♀ Tourists [10w] + [10w] Female travelers wear no makeup, stringy jewelry and Jesus sandals.Female travelers wear overcaked makeup, diamond jewelry and Gucci Booties."

"Your inner strength is your outer foundation"

"What is Love? [10w] Love is the stubborn desire to find permanencein impermanence."