#positive-mindset

"Good and Evil To have good and evil the Devil must always remain a step beyond saving."

"Self-Help I asked the bookseller,'Do you have any self-help books for addiction?'He said,'If I tell you, I'd be enabling you."

"Fig The proud oak wed a seedling figHe welcomed her caressThough round his lofty limbs she woundHe saw no need for distress.The fig enveloped all his trunkHer grip grew firm and tightThe oak withered in his arroganceAs she choked off his last light."

"Poet and the Fool {Couplet} {Limerick} The fool does his ego inflate,much like a poet does his oeuvre overrate.But the truth of the matter is that neither shit matters;harsh reality shall both nitwits deflate."

"Compassion [10w] Compassion is the combination to enter the vault of heaven."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Elegance in Simplicity [10w] The more complex the problem,the simpler the correct answer."

"Celebrity [10w] Celebrity seeking is like love or war: NO HOLDS BARRED."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."

"Mind's Eye What vain man is not a hero in his mind's eye;What egoist not the protagonist upon which the world revolves?"

"In and Out [10w] Our infant blanket in the externalization of our mother's womb.ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ ♛ ღ Intruth, we should be married under,sling our newborn babiesinand after deathbe shrouded in the same infant blanketwe were taken home from the hospital in."

"1953 It seems the world has gone downhill since the year Sir Edmund Hillary climbed Everest."

"Lady Clowns [10w] Lady clowns drip menstrual blood in seven luscious rainbow colors."

"The Game Is Afoot God's buried eight jewels within my soul.Life's game is,'Remove each gem, yet find me whole.'The clue is,"Eight is one, and one is eight,no jewel's more precious,all equally great."

"Diet and Exorcise [10w] The most effective diet is hanging around with fat people."

"Misfortune Misfortune is but a stepping stone to great fortune ~especially if your slip and fall was possibly caused by negligenceand you get yourself a good Jew lawyer to sue the parties responsible."

"Glow in the Dark "You've led me from stark nightwith a love that glows in the dark."

"FBI vs. CIA When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,he gets a watch.When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,he gets watched.I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~I know this because I have HBO."

"Gypsy When one gypsy spits on you, its disgusting;when two do, it's suspicious;when three do, you're late to a gypsy wedding."