#positive-mindset

"What Children See [10w] "A spider is an octopus who lives in the desert."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Imaginary Friends When my childhood imaginary friend got mad at mehe insulted me by calling me 'real'."

"Imitation [10w] Art imitates life.Life imitates art.I just imitate imitation."

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"New Year's Resolutions New Year's resolutions shouldn't be about doing new things;it should be about stopping to do the shitty things you're already doing."

"First Things First [10w] God created the possibility of absurditybefore he created man."

"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."

"You're My Favorite' If you want all your children to know they're your favorite,give them all the same nameand whisper this confession in all their earswith the promise not to telltheir brothers and sisters."

"Keep Your Day Job Bitch [10w] + {Couplet} If you've guessed that I'm blessed,augury ain't your strawberry."

"Autumn Ikebana [10w] + {Haiku} Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves.or:Earthen rainbows raked by Autumn's Ikebana of wind arranging leaves."

"Charity [10w] Contentment over your life is the best aphrodisiac for charity."

"Marriage Advice [10w] Marry a man above youand a woman beneath you."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"Socrates [10w] "I know less than you.That's how smart I am!"

"Why We Need Smart People [10w] We need smart people to call other smart people morons."

"Second Opinions My doctor told me I have pancreatic cancer and have 2 months to live.I asked him about getting a second opinion.The Doc said, 'No problem.'He thought for a second and said,'I think the Boston Red Sox are going to win the series again this year."

"Poetry is a Ladder {C☰O☰U☰P☰L☰E☰T} {The poet's job is to create a ladder} {for the reader to enter his imagination}and☰once☰they've☰climbed☰u­p☰to☰the ☰top☰remove☰each☰rung☰by☰grad­ation"

"Tofino, Canada Haiku Free flowing clothes,Strumming guitar on the beach.Still my baggage follows me."

"Diplomacy The diplomat's expert way of saying 'They should go fuck themselves' is:"We are agreed in principleand will take our minor differencesunder thoughful consideration."