#powerful-story

"Rules of Etiquette [10w] Rules of etiquette are pretend manners for the lower classes."

"Sink or Swim [10w] Lovers master the breaststroke, the crawl and the muff dive."

"Sixty is the New Fifty The good news is sixty is the new fifty.The bad news is twenty is the new ten."

"Thorny Love [10w] A thorn by any other name would hurt as much."

"My Secret for Out-of-the-Box-Thinking To help me writein my signature out-of-the-box style,I sit in front of my humidifier that I've filled up with Grey Goose vodka.My humidifier is now at Underwriters Laboratoriesin a 12-Step Programand buddied up with a de-humidifier."

"Party Hat [10w] Circus clowns, Frenchmen, and sanitation workers look better in party-hats.."

"Poets Job Description [10w] Poets console the soul with words and eyes with images."

"Memories [10w] Spend half your life creating memories,the other half, remembering."

"Marriage Advice [10w] Marry a man above youand a woman beneath you."

"Voodoo I'm phobic about pins and needles.Can I just stick a voodoo doll in the microwave?"

"No Planning for Death [10w] People put more planning into a weekend vacation than death."

"God Created [10w] Lips were created to kiss and hands to make peace."

"Brownie Mix [10w] + {Couplet} Betwixt hell and the River Styx,I'll be shitting bricks."

"Confucius vs. Confusion [10w] Confucius says if pussy smell like fish change the bait."

"Vapers I bought a vape pen from a vaporium.The vapologist advised meto get the model with the refillable vape tank.When the fuck did smoking become so vapid?"

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"Women Kissing :-)*(-: Women kissing publicly it has all the sincerity of an Israeli soldier hugging a Palestinian secretly checking for an explosive vest.* ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿’̿’̵͇̿̿з=(இಠ ᴈ muah εఠയ=/̵͇̿̿/̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿*自"

"Sharia Justice [10w] Sharia justice is a lynch mob masquerading as Allah's will."

"God is Great [10w] God found me in a dumpster and made me holy."

"Preparation [10w] Hope for the best, but prepare for your insufferable wife."