#Purpose

"Kill Buddha's Hairdresser [10w] I'd like to meet Buddha's hairdresser and shoot the prick."

"Money vs. Happiness [10w] Why do people with money say,'money can't buy happiness'?"

"Love [10w] Love is a time machineset to your perfect present"

"Free yourself from the complexities and drama of your life. Simplify. Look within. Within ourselves we all have the gifts and talents we need to fulfill the purpose we've been blessed with."

"Please Don't Commemorate Me Just Yet [10w] The living are only commemorated when they're at death's door."

"California Milk Processor Board: Got Milk?... ...cuz I got a fucking hangover."

"As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning."

"Cancer [10w] It's odd that the cancer that kills you is you."

"Imaginary Friends [10w] My imaginary friend insulted me by calling me real."

"The power of hope! Even a lack of ambition can, for a time, pay off as a necessary facet, as long as hope outweighs it."

"Finding Fault [10w] + {Couplet} We find in others faultWhenever our wounds perceives salt."

"Double-Dipping [10w] Double-dip in righteousness and delight in the here and herafter."

"Death Has Bad Timing Death has bad timingbecause rigor mortis sets into your penisjust when you don't fucking need it."

"Fig The proud oak wed a seedling figHe welcomed her caressThough round his lofty limbs she woundHe saw no need for distress.The fig enveloped all his trunkHer grip grew firm and tightThe oak withered in his arroganceAs she choked off his last light."

"Concatenate /kənˈkætəneɪt/to link together, as in a chain Do you concatenate cats by tying their tails together or do you just stuff the tail of one into the mouth of the other?Which method is better for yanking your chain?"

"Ruth Whither thou goest, I will go ~as long as it's to the mall.I heard Dillard's is having an 80% off sale!"

"Clairol: Does she or doesn't she... ...take it up the ass."

"Too Much Information You must empty your mind of garbage to let new garbage in."

"Six Minus Three Degrees of Stupidation [10w] Three degrees of stupid:stupidstupid squaredstupid stupid stupid"

"Cheeky Poets [10w] Remember 'poetry' lies between 'pitiful' and 'poop' in the dictionary."