#corruption

"I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up."

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"It’s not unpatriotic to denounce an injustice committed on our behalf, perhaps it’s the most patriotic thing we can do."

"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."

"Why does death have to stop #love? It doesn’t stop people from voting in Chicago."

"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms."

"The humble sinner will sometimes be interpreted as one of the filthiest in the eyes of man yet immersed in the eyes of God, and this is due to the volition of honesty regarding his own corruption."

"You can't let the truth bring out the worst and let it get the best of you."

"A man who has never gone to school may steal a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad."

"A leader should always be open to criticism, not silencing dissent. Any leader who does not tolerate criticism from the public is afraid of their dirty hands to be revealed under heavy light. And such a leader is dangerous, because they only feel secure in the darkness. Only a leader who is free from corruption welcomes scrutiny; for scrutiny allows a good leader to be an even greater leader."

"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."

"Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress."

"There are pockets of wealth in this country. Mostly those pockets are in the politicians’ pants."

"Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart."

"Power-lust is a weed that grows only in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind."

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet."

"We must not allow our pride to be the motivation behind our apologetics; rather, philoverity, the love of truth must be the full and complete motivation. For pride corrupts truth."

"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."

"Quarterbacks shouldn’t leave the pocket, because that’s where the money is. Every politician knows this."

"Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword."