#sacred

"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Hill That's because my lawn is on a south-facing slope of the hill and more more open to sunlight and warm winds. It's dryer due to higher levels of evapotranspiration than my neighbor's greener north-facing slope.I'm not the least bit envious of the color of his greener grass.I'm just pissed that the prick owns a better piece of real estate."

"Liberating Dreams [10w] God was with Joseph in prison.They escaped through dreams."

"Biggest Problem with 10w [10w] The biggest problem with aphorisms is people believe they're true."

"Leaping lemmings! Leaping lemmings!I so adore ya'Can't get enoughJust want more’o'ya'!When I've had my fill'o'ya',I long for anotherRefill'o'ya.So, let's cut my spiel And here's the deal:I'm just gonna' haveta' cloneya'!So, when we're doneJust having fun --I'm just gonna' haveta' boneya'Again."

"Credo of a Substitute Teacher I'm a 'sugar free' substitute teacher.I speak frankly and never gave any of my studentsa single word of encouragement.Why should I? Even after 10 years the school hasn't given me a pension, health insurance or paid sick leave.So fuck 'em.Fuck 'em all."

"Who is Fortunate? [10w] Who is fortunate?He who measures his fortune in friends."

"Time Traveler's Ennui The future ain't what it use to be."

"If I Were God [10w] If I were God I'd sell my shit on Ebay."

"Curse of the Ageing Woman {Couplet} I'm a wallflower, bluestocking, left on the Shelf, When you're beyond one's sell-by date, you've left by yourself,"

"Natural Born Killers [10w] After their first,every soldier becomes a natural born killer."

"Bridges [10w] Bridges are overpasses for commuters and roofs for the homeless."

"Perspective [10w] In every needle there's a haystack,if you step back."

"When in Doubt [10w] If your relationship becomes stagnant,set fire to her dress."

"California Haiku "After my boob jobI'm taking acting lessons.Fuck's fifty, no anal."

"Love in the Afterlife [10w] Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.This life, fuhgeddaboudit."

"Seduction [10w] Seduction comes from our innate instincts for hunting and killing."

"Sunshine On My Shoulders When you're home's always filled with sunshine,you're either blessed or it's time to fix the roof."

"Heart My heart jumps every time you walk through the door.It's not love.I have an arrhythmia."

"Poets Be Realists! Poets be realists!It's O.K. to keep your jobs ~just don't quit your day dreams."

"Time [10w] {Couplet} Can there be more callous crimethan unkindly killing time?"