"Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something."
JA
Jarod Kintz, This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me...
27 quotes
Quotes by Jarod Kintz, This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me...
"It’s scary to be a woman on a blind date. For all she knows the man she is meeting up with could be a rapist, a murderer, or, God forbid, a politician."
"I may be alive now, but in a series of moments I won’t be. And let it be said about me: He didn’t waste his time talking to conch shells, but he did listen to what they had to say about the ocean."
"I always felt that Jim Morrison was a terrible name for the front man of The Doors. No, for a band called The Doors, a name like Rusty Hinge would have been more appropriate."
"You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. I guess when I say people, I mean everyone but my Grandfather. He hated anything that was so monotonous as repetition. That’s why he loathed walking so much. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, and on and on."
"Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something."
"Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something."
"I love apricots. They’re so fuzzy they’re furry. They’re like little pets you can eat legally."
"Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed until four in the afternoon?"
"The good, the bad, and the ugly basically sums up my sex life. Except that I’ve never had the good."
"The good, the bad, and the ugly basically sums up my sex life. Except that I’ve never had the good."
"As I was driving down Beach Blvd., I saw a building that said, "Self Storage,"and I thought, "I wonder if my ego could possibly fit in just one unit."
"If my remote control doubled as a dildo, I'd never get off my ass to change the channel."
"Most fools drink after one another, from a thinking cup that is empty. But I only drink after people whose cups are filled with a fluid to fascination ratio of nearly 1:1."
"I may be alive now, but in a series of moments I won’t be. And let it be said about me: He didn’t waste his time talking to conch shells, but he did listen to what they had to say about the ocean."
"Tomorrow I was supposed to have a meeting with a salesperson, who happened to be Orafoura. But something came up, so I called him and said, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but I have to cancel tomorrow.” To which he replied, “Cancel tomorrow! Who do you think you are, God?"
"Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed until four in the afternoon?"
"I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins."
"Grandmother hates it when I do the "turkey dance."Basically, I lather my naked body in gravy and then spaz out on the kitchen floor. She just doesn't understand modern dance."
"In high school I tried out for the spelling team, but only because I really wanted a letter jacket."