#cheating

"Buy a gift for a dog, and you'll be amazed at the way it will dance and swerve its tail, but if don't have anything to offer to it, it won't even recognize your arrival; such are the attributes of fake friends."

"It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover."

"God is great and God is good,"Lisa says. "But where are the Apache attack helicopters when you need them?"

"When you look at the past without God’s eyes, you subject yourself to deception. The past no longer exists and God doesn’t linger there. However, Satan will show you whatever you want to see and believe, so you will be trapped in an emotion that cannot communicate truth, beyond what you want to remember."

"Take me now, God!"I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready.""You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet,"Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man."

"The snag about marriage is, it isn´t worth the divorce."

"I would have been a black belt in Karate much sooner, but the store was sold out of Sharpie markers."

"Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil."

"How do you know? How best to ensure his nervous breakdown?"I ask."Keep going,"Christian says. "Just go on as if nothing has happened. We all hate that."

"I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Marrid to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?"

"I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town."

"What irritated me most in that entire situation was the fact that Iwasn’t feeling humiliated, or annoyed, or even fooled. Betrayal waswhat I felt, my heart broken not just by a guy I was in love with, butalso by, as I once believed, a true friend."

"Any way I slice reality it comes out poorly, and I feel an urge to not exist, something I have never felt before; and now here it comes with conviction, almost panic. I mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly."

"Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove."

"People generally didn't cheat in good relationships."

"So many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card. In restaurants, he looked off into the middle distance while my hand would creep across the table to hold his. He would always let go first. I realize I can´t remember his last spontaneous gesture of affection."

"Surprises, I feel now, are primarily a form of violence."

"I mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly."

"I used to loathe ambivalence; now I adore it. Ambivalence is my new best friend."

"He announces that lately he keeps losing things. "Like your wife and child,"I want to say, but don´t. At fourty, I´ve learned not to say everything clever, not to score every point."