A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."

"Humor is reason gone mad."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."