A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

"Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun."

"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."