More quotes by Groucho Marx

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know."
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
"From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse."