"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."
"I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me."
"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."
"If writers write, then rangers range. And I’d like to wake up every morning and be a mother, so I could eat my own clothes."