"And then he said the next time he sees me the gloves are coming off. I said, "Doc, that‘s no way to perform a prostrate exam."
"The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays."
"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."
"I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes."
"Sometimes I wish Jim Morrison were still alive, because I'd love to see a concert in which "The Doors"opened up for "The Cars."
"Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake."